(outside my window polar tempest you beat against the pane while i in comfort and coze need only to shift layers of blankets to insulate against the bitter night chill) i drift off loving the howl that shakes the holding-on dead leaves free that unearths roots not too-deeply rooted that karate-chop pummels whole limbs from trunks oh my heart do not hide safe when the wild wind beckons meet its power be uprooted and blown naked welcoming newness as it is released
i slide my palm (unaware but not disinterested) into the slit of threadbare denim over a smooth angle of hipbone toward the deep corner of pocket where you (a foreign coin gathering my heat) nestle my fingers seek your contour and edges (my heart needs refuge far away from here) i settle and retract my hand but you (unsettled) you flee and flip through the air (no matter how familiar the edges i never can guess which side will land upright to the sky) heads or tails is anyones guess
the drama of bearing such a gift as joy is first when it sprung from my heart and out of my lips i could not believe it was true then i realized that the gift was not in the holding of joy in my hands but in the emptying of those hands of things that drown out joy (things that prevent joy from penetrating this intensity of life i have been living) joy comes from the remembrance of past goodness surviving and made true made right made whole even if it still seems broken on the outside to those who dont really know what they are looking at joy is learning to look deep into the sense of peace and belonging that only comes with healing that is according to the truth and peace that surpasses understanding when joy is sparked the gift is in the taking off of the mask so that it will flow through me and to you and to whomever else is longing for it too